Holic's Aquatique

 To begin with im not gonna act like im the incarnation of peace i have major stress issues i deal with, and a lot of hate in me but no form of hate is free of responsability or consequence no in due time i worked on improving that part of myself bit by bit especially because my heart cant handle it anymore i've seen people suffer a lot from hate and being hated being hated for what they are being hated for what they do being hated for no reason at all sometimes its understandable sure, but hate is not a picky feeling it leaks out even when you dont want it to, its tempting  and then you ruin everything before you know it you lose friends, you lose chances, maybe family too and more by all means you can hate bad people sure, its a fun hobby but hating a whole group of people due to one bad apple is just mean spirited and a waste of your time, disgusting even grown men bothering kids until they commit suicide feel proud and hell they dont even need a reason, they just hate for ...

 What can i say? i dont really know it too well, i know its inside me for sure i think im going stupid, but what is it really, a natural mood killer? makes me feel like bums when i feel it, yet im caught in the web anyways guilty pleasure? just my depression making it lame? or am i mixing things up im already out of words, im tired and lucid dreaming is becoming so very addictive i can dream of anything i want, i can relieve anything i want, see outcomes i never saw going nuts is not all that bad anyway, what am i missing, i never had the usual life it is nice typing it out of my head, makes me a little lighter bit by bit, any good IS good right? did i go off topic? i dont know im not sure, its quite late too so im on brain economy mode maybe i should find someone to hug all the time, i really miss hugging and all i miss a type of connection that i cant quite find anymore, and it wounds my heart deep its not gonna stop my life, no not at this point, as im shitting bricks at the tou...

 why not duh!